There’s a line from a Christmas song that keeps rolling around in my head this year. It’s tucked into “O Holy Night”. You’ll recognize it, I’m sure.
Some days I’m just overcome with the weariness of this world. The weight of sadness that so many experience daily. That I experience daily.
And yet, I rejoice. Why? Because God is teaching me so many things as I work through my grief. Because He is good and has blessed me far beyond what I deserve. Because He is using me in spite of my very elementary understanding of Him.
I studied this verse this morning. Job lost everything, all at the same time. His wealth, his family, his health. And yet, in his grief, he worshiped.
“Is it realistic to think that you and I can worship God, not after we’ve figured it all out, but as our initial reaction to loss in our lives? Job shows us it is. Worshiping God does not require that we understand or approve of what God has allowed into our lives; it simply requires a heart that desires to trust God and a will that is bent toward obedience to God regardless of our feelings. We worship God because he is worthy, not because we necessarily feel like it. And as we worship in the midst of our pain, we are able to gain perspective on that pain. This is a costly worship– which makes it all the more worthwhile and precious to God.” — Nancy Guthrie from her book Hope, p. 34 (bold mine)
This Christmas I am weary. I don’t understand the path that my life is taking. But I do trust Him. Even though I don’t understand and even though it takes every fiber in my being to reach out to God in my pain, I will worship. I will rejoice. I will sing.
Once again the distance between us is too much for me. I just want to hug you and sit with you and talk for hours…is that too much to ask? I'm praying for you friend. Our lives were woven together for a reason. Last night when I told the boys about Laurens birthday, Jake popped up and said, "Hey, I think that Williams sister will say, "Hey, I know you, you're Lauren. Happy birthday." and they will be friends."
So beautifully written! Praise God for all He is for us all in our griefs, trials and questions.
i'm late at reading this…but thank you…i've been so weary this christmas season and needed this reminder…i do find myself worshipping in my weariness and my heart desires to trust him, but this post was an encouragement i needed. thank you. you continue to bless me through your words here.
Sharing your sorrow, and the ache of empty arms as you wrote about so beautifully. So glad you found the One Year Book of Hope. How I hope it brings a balm of comfort and a girding of truth into your sorrow.
Perhaps you and your husband could consider coming to one of the retreats my husband and I host for couples who have lost children. YOu can read about them at nancyguthrie.com
Sarah, your post is beautiful. Thank you for it. I needed it. It speaks to me in my losses right now – your sorrow (which is mine), my dad, my little grandbaby… Thank you for the blessing of being with your family tonight. You do my heart good in letting us love you and laugh with you and sorrow with you. (hey, check out that retreat!)
Love you, Chris